Tunica, Mississippi

I asked Brian K about poker games in the deep south, and he replied with "I thought you were already intimately familiar with the games spread at Foxwoods."

Touché.

Sigh. The REAL deep south, dammit! Like Mississippi, for instance.

Oh, like Tunica? I hear they play lots of tournaments there, and you're likely to find a good 2/5 game without looking too hard.

So I look up Tunica, MS in my atlas, and it's right next door! I had assumed it would be on the Gulf Coast. I check Google maps, and they verify, it's about 20 minutes away. Sweet! A few more Google searches later, and I see that there's a $60 hold'em freezeout at the Gold Strike in a few hours. Woot!

Warning: This story isn't nearly as interesting as the Las Vegas poker story.

I get there and sign up. The tournament starts, there are 36 players, and I am CARD DEAD. Seriously, for an hour and thirty minutes, I haven't voluntarily played a single hand. Finally, with blinds at 50/100, I am first to act and look down at AK unsuited. I don't normally do this, but for some reason, I decided to limp in and then come over the top to a raise. So I limp in, next player goes all in for 850. Another player reraises all in for 1600, someone calls, and it's back to me, and I fold. First all-in shows 77, second all-in shows 88, and the caller shows another AK. Cards help nobody, and the 88 holds up to win.

I stay card dead for the next half hour, then with the blinds at 100/200, I limp in from the small blind against 5 limpers with J9 offsuit. Flop is QQ9, I check, 5 players check. Turn is a rag, I bet 500, folded to a player who raises to 1200. Great. Obviously he slowplayed a queen, but I'm wallowing in my own drool now from having only played one hand in two hours, and I move all-in. He calls, and I'm toast. The river is a 9, adding insult to injury by giving us both full houses.