Cruise: Final thoughts

Many people have asked me my thoughts on the cruise, so here's a summary. Before I begin, though, I think I need to qualify this with a reminder that I've basically been on vacation for the last eight months. As such, I think it makes me a rather poorer judge of a vacation than those who spent the seven days at sea away from their desks, cell phones, computers, and Blackberries.

Despite some of the critiques that have appeared in this blog, I actually had a fantastic time (except for the tropical storm day.) It was great to spend so much time with friends, while being able to also enjoy time apart as necessary, thanks to the size of the ship.

The sourest note of the cruise was on the first day, when my camera broke. It really had become something of a travel crutch, as I've taken so many pictures with it since my travels began last June. I felt so helpless every time a photo opportunity was passed by, and that feeling just kept happening as the week progressed.

(photos courtesy of Dayong)

Most people are surprised to hear I was disappointed with the food on the cruise. But mediocre it was, almost universally. The buffet was what you'd probably expect: row upon row of huge, steam-heated stainless steel trays of overcooked fatty, over-salted paste. The restaurants were much better-- in ambiance at least. However, with a few exceptions, the food still had the taste, texture, and appearance of microwaved frozen dinners, on nice big white plates. Of course, it makes perfect sense in hindsight to mass-produce and freeze thousands of portions of boiled sides and over-sauteed entrees, and then forklift crateloads of them into the galley freezers while refueling each Sunday in Miami.

Despite my opinion of the food, the dinners themselves were always great fun, thanks to great companionship.

Drink prices were usurious, but that had the positive effect of limiting the amount we drank.

Would I do it again? I honestly don't know. I didn't think so at first, but while much of the cruise did not meet expectations, it really was a good time. Going with a group of friends made all the difference.

Anyway, I think that's all until the next adventure. Hope everybody had a good holiday! Thanks for reading!

Cruise: Day 7

We spent our final day at Great Stirrup Cay, an island in the Bahamas privately owned by the Norwegian Cruise Line. We found the rest of the gang already there when we arrived, and we joined them for pickup beach volleyball. Eventually the courts filled up with tourists, making for free-for-all jungle volleyball, so we hit the beach for for some snorkeling.

The beach is split into two halves. One is for snorkeling, and the other is for people who want to snorkel but chose to ignore the sign clearly marked "NO SNORKELING THIS SIDE." We opted for the latter side, as it was far less crowded. The water was warm, and the snorkeling was pretty good. We saw a good sized stingray with a friend (a big fish that kept following it around for some reason) and several other big fish.

After snorkeling, Alice and I hiked a trail that took us to the other side of the island. Rumor has it the island was owned by the US Military in the past-- we found an abandoned lighthouse and some other abandoned buildings, as well as a landfill, a mysterious rocky coastal area dotted with concrete boxes with metal pipes jutting from each.

We returned in time for the volleyball tournament! We signed up as a team, with me, Alice, Dayong, John, Nicole, and a guy we met named Johnny. And then (really, to no surprise) we proceeded to utterly destroy the competition to win the tournament. Woo hoo!

Here we are after winning (thanks to Johnny for the pic!):

We swam a little more and just hung out on the beach after the tournament. Someone had smuggled over a bottle of rum which we polished off before going back aboard for our final night on the ship. Yo ho ho.

Back aboard, Dayong, Alice and I celebrated with a bucket of Coronas before heading to the pub for the final night of the ship's Progressive Trivia Game. Each night so far, our team had participated in a 20-question trivia challenge, and our cumulative score was so far ahead of the pack we were a shoe-in. And as anticipated, we won! For our efforts, we received tote bags containing various token gifts such as cards and beach balls. And we also had champagne. Woot!

One last dinner with the gang; an Italian feast at a restaurant whose name I can't recall.

Cruise: Day 6

Here's a pic that Dayong took of The Baths, from Day 4:

Day 6 was a day at sea. John, Dayong, and I got to play some volleyball on the ship, winning each game easily despite some interesting game conditions (net only 6.5 feet high, and a ceiling netting that was probably less than 20 feet high). At one point, we were playing against some really rude girls, and one of them said of Dayong, "Did he just call us bitches?" and I assured her that no, he wouldn't say that, she must have misunderstood him. (Later, he confirmed that he had indeed called them bitches. LOL!)

Spent a lot of time lazing in the sun by the pool with a Corona or two...

Alice and I played in the preliminary round of the blackjack tournament later that day. I did pretty poorly, but Alice was the chip leader at her table until the last hand, when she busted out and the person in second place hit blackjack.

We hit the early show at 7:30. It was a Cirque-de-soleil-esq show called Bollywood, and it was amazing! Incredible gymnastics, acrobatics, music, and dancing. They definitely saved the best for last, as this show was miles above the others. It was the only show to get a standing ovation, and it was well-deserved.

We had a late dinner at Cagney's, the cover-charge steak restaurant. It was certainly the best meal yet, but certainly not the best steak ever. Also the best atmosphere and service.

Cruise: Day 5

It was showering off and on when we got on the bus for our St. Thomas excursion early on Day 5. On arrival at the kayaking site, we needed to wait under a tent for another tour to arrive, and then for the pre-excursion briefing. While waiting, it started pouring. YAY.

But then, a miracle! Right when we headed out, the rain stopped and the sun came out. We kayaked through a mangrove lagoon to Cas Cay, where we stopped for a hermit crab race (mine was pretty feisty, but he kept going the wrong way. Alice's didn't move much at all... I hope he wasn't dead.) Then we hiked a trail to Red Rock Point, pausing along the way to see the various mangrove trees and some termite nests. The Point was an area of colorful volcanic rock that came together to form blowholes, i.e., rock formations that, when hit by waves, make an otherwise peaceful spot dramatically choppy. You can get drenched pretty quickly with little warning, as I did.

Snorkeling around the mangrove roots wasn't that impressive; for one, the fish are inherently smaller (that's why they're there, to hide from the bigger fish), and also, we were with a rather large tour that kicked up plenty of sand. Ah well, at least the water was warm and the weather held up.

That evening, we participated in a murder mystery dinner with Ron and Dayong and two other cruise guests. Alice and I were each either very convincing, or very unconvincing, because most people thought that I (as Leilani, the hula dancer) was guilty while in fact Alice (as Johnny Breakers, the surfer dude) was the murderer all along.

Cruise: Day 4

We finally made landfall! We docked at Tortola, and we all boarded a smaller boat for our excursion to Virgin Gorda. On arrival, we boarded a bus for the Baths National Park. Here's where I really started to miss my camera. The Baths is known for beaches surrounded by giant boulders, some of which come together to form caves that you can wade in and explore.

The weather was beautiful; we spent some quality time on the beach, and got some snorkeling in, but the excursion was rather short. At least, thanks to the previous day's storm, we had extra time in Tortola. Back at the ship, we had a gross lunch at the buffet (where I got to hear another group of obese women complaining that there were not enough cookies). Then Alice and I headed out on our own to find a beach on Tortola. We took a cab to Cane Garden Bay, a beautiful sandy beach loaded with beach chairs and little bars, and spent the afternoon there before heading back to the ship.

Alice and I went to the sushi bar that night for all-you-can-eat sushi. The sushi was ok, but the waitress was inattentive and snippy. We ended up going back to Salsa for dessert. Um, desserts.

Cruise: Day 3

Day 3 began with guys from Security knocking on our door at 7:00 AM so they could close our porthole. Shortly thereafter came the announcement on the ship's intercom that our trip to the Dominican Republic had been canceled due to Tropical Storm Olga, which was what our captain was trying to avoid. We would learn later that the storm was packing 60 MPH winds and creating 20 foot seas.

The storm was tossing this 850 foot, 17,000 ton cruise ship like it was the S.S. Minnow on its three hour tour. I took a seasickness pill and walked around for a bit before giving up and trying to go back to sleep. Alice actually went and got breakfast. She said later that chairs were periodically falling over on their own, and old people needed to be escorted out of the restaurant. She also learned from some of the staff that this was "the second worst storm in the last three years." Apparently in the first worst storm, the waves broke a window on the 7th deck.

Eventually, I got up, took another pill, and made my way to the poolside area of deck 12. I didn't know where any of the gang was, so I checked the buffet and then headed up to the Spinnaker Lounge thinking Alice might be there playing bingo. I found a bunch of them playing Yahtzee on the way and joined them, despite the second pill kicking in and making me extremely tired and irritable.

Had a gross lunch at the buffet. Got to hear a bunch of obese ladies complain that there wasn't enough pizza.

Dinner at Salsa, the ship's Tex Mex restaurant, while still unspectacular, was the best yet. The dessert was amazing, and all it was basically just berries and cream.

Rejoined the gang in the theater for a magic show. The magician claimed to have performed in Las Vegas, but I'm guessing that he hasn't performed there since the late 70s when his act was on the cutting edge.

If you've bothered to read this far, you're probably thinking, "Wow, this cruise sounds really lame." And you're right, up to now, it was pretty disappointing. Fortunately though, things would improve on Day 4...

Cruise: Day 2

Day 2 was a day at sea and started with the Texas Hold'em tournament at 9:30 AM, which actually felt like 8:30 AM because we changed time zones! I am happy to say I finished in 6th place, but less happy to say that only the top three made money. The blinds go up so fast, it really turns into something of a crap shoot, but of course it would have been nice to get paid. I was crippled right before the first break (though I managed to claw my way back later) with the following hand:

Blinds were 200/400, and I had about 5000 chips. I was on the button against 6 opponents. I don't remember the exact action, but there was one limper to me and I looked down at QQ. I raised it to 1600, the small blind folded, the big blind (who also had about 5000, but soon I would learn it was slightly less than whatever I had) called, and the limper folded. Flop was T, J, J (sound familiar?!?). Big blind checks, I quickly move all-in, he thinks for a few minutes and calls, showing 88. Sounds like I'm about a 9-1 favorite, right? But guess what the turn card was! Go on, guess, I'm sure you have no idea. Here's a hint: the river helped neither of us.

We met Dayong and Ron for lunch afterwards at the Venetian. It was pretty gross... hamburgers were barely edible. Dinner at Aqua that night was fun, especially since they kept serving us broiled rock lobster tails, without us even asking for them. I don't think rock lobster tastes quite as good as Maine lobsters, though I actually did prefer the texture of the Caribbean crustaceans over that of their cold-water cousins.

As luck would have it, Alice's camera also broke. So we were now camera-less.

We skipped the show that night, and I went to the casino and played in the Hold'em cash game. The 4th and 5th place finishers from the tournament were also playing there, so we jokingly dubbed it the "Sore Losers Table." All kidding aside, I did find out pretty quick that it was going to be extremely difficult to win anything here-- the rake was INSANE. I have played some places where the rake was 10% of the pot, with a max of $5, and that's considered very high. On this ship, the rake was 10% with a max of $50! Despite the long odds, I played into the wee hours of the night. Once or twice, we felt the whole table lurch as if a tropical storm were brewing outside, but we all just looked at each other nervously and attributed it to the one or two alcoholic beverages consumed earlier in the evening...

Cruise: Day 1

First, I'd like to say a big THANK YOU to Juan's parents in Miami, for putting us up for two nights, letting me leave my car at their place for a week, and driving us to the port to start our cruise. As if the warmth of Miami weren't welcoming enough, they made it that much more so. And also, thanks to Juan and Kathy for picking us up at the airport and keeping us entertained with their adorable twins.

The bad news is that this pic, courtesy of my MacBook's built-in iSight camera, will be the last one I'll be posting for a while, since my camera broke on the first day of the cruise.

The other bad news is that, since I don't have pics to jog my memory, the following narrative is shaping up to be a stream-of-consciousness account of what may or may not have happened.

We got to the port at around 1:00, and snaked our way through the miles of check-in lines to finally board the ship at about 2:00. The first thing we did was reserve our shore excursions: a beach day at Samana, Dominican Republic, a boat ride to Virgin Gorda via Tortola (British Virgin Islands), and a Kayak/Hike/Snorkel trip on St. Thomas. We started poking around the ship after that, including making our first (of many) trips to the buffet, but it wasn't long before the announcement was made that the staterooms were ready, so we headed to check out our room. We were on Deck 4, the lowest passenger deck. As expected, the room was small, and we had a porthole rather than a window, but the view was still fine, and in fact, better than what one might expect from a porthole.

After attending the mandatory safety briefing (of which I can't remember any details... good thing we didn't sink), we went up to the pool area for the cast-off celebration. We met the entire gang there (Dayong, Ron, John, Terri, and Nicole) for some food and drinks while watching the ship leave port. Had dinner with the gang later at the Venetian-- I didn't find it to be all that spectacular, but everyone else seemed pretty happy with it. We went to the theater afterwards for the first show of the trip: a juggler/comedian. He was ok-- but the trick that would have been the most impressive I would actually consider fraudulent-- he played songs on a flat, electronic piano pad by bouncing balls on the keys. However, it was pretty clear that he wasn't actually playing the notes, but that the entire pad was a trigger for a pre-sequenced song, so that no matter where the balls landed, they played the correct notes.

Cruisin'

Cruising the Caribbean... not going to pay $0.40/min to update the blog... be back in a week!

Hard Rock Casino, Tampa FL

Pop quiz for all you poker hotshots out there.

1. What happens in a no-limit cash game when you hold pocket queens, your opponent holds pocket tens, and the flop is ten, ten, queen?

2. What happens when the exact same thing happens 10 minutes later?

That is all.

Panhandle

I'm spending the night in Tallahassee. For those of you keeping score at home, you know that means I'm on my way back east.

As I hinted at yesterday, I spent the afternoon in New Orleans. As expected, I didn't find it to be the best place in the world to hang out by myself. Looks like a crazy town to visit with friends though; the French Quarter was full of people getting drunk in the street at 2:00 PM on a Thursday.

I accidentally drove through some rough areas, too... entire blocks of apparently abandoned houses, with groups of locals loitering on the street corners. Didn't look like the best place to get a flat tire. I also got yelled at by someone who ran a stop sign and almost hit me, though I didn't understand what he said other than the ubiquitous F bomb.

I headed back to Biloxi afterwards, deciding to drop in on the 1/2 no-limit game that I didn't get to play the day before. That turned out to be a good idea, as I made back most of my earlier losses and got comped another two meals (one of which was the grossest lunch buffet ever. I might need to write just about that in a separate post some day.)

Continued eastward this morning and made it to the Air Force Armament Museum, about 30 miles east of Pensacola, FL. THAT was cool! Inside are several exhibits, including small arms, large machine guns and cannons, missiles and small planes, trainers, and history. And outside, they have actual Air Force planes, such as:

The F-15:

And the B-52 (sorry, it's so big it doesn't all fit in the pic. 8 engines... gaaa) :

Looks like I might make it back to Tampa tomorrow.

A somber update

Here was the view from my room yesterday morning from the 9th floor of the Isle of Capri: (camera-phone pic, sorry for lack of quality)

I drove to New Orleans this morning, via route 90 along the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. Basically, for about 35 miles, there is a beautiful beach on the left. So if you want to be in your own happy little world, you keep looking left.

On the right... I know I can't adequately describe it. I'm going to give up for now, but I'll try to revisit it later. For the curious, the words that stick out in my mind the most are "graffiti", "cement", and "emptiness."

Biloxi, MS

As much as I'd like to post another poker boast, I'm checking in in the negative column tonight. I'm at the Isle of Capri casino in Biloxi, MS, on the gulf coast. My limit game is very much weaker than my no-limit game, but the only game they were running here was a 4/8 limit game with 1/2 blinds. Yeah, weird blind structure... I'm still feeling a bit confused by it. If any limit hold'em experts out there are reading this, perhaps they can offer some words of wisdom. Anyway, thanks to two huge suckouts (that's what limit is all about, right? and apparently always against me) I finished my 10 hour shift slightly in the red.

I did comp a $17 buffet, and got a reduced rate on my hotel room, which is a whole lot nicer than the Motel 6s I've been staying at! And again, it's too cold to sleep in the car down here, so this trip may be testing my budget more than I anticipated. I'm shocked; I expected it to be a lot warmer in the deep south.

A couple of notes on the buffet: First, I kind of justified the gross over-indulgence and extreme over-eating of the holidays by reminding myself of my summer trip, and how I ate very little, filled my days with activity, and in fact lost several pounds. So then here I am the second day after TurkeyBall and I am comped a free all-you-can-eat buffet (and um, sitting on my butt for 10 hours). YAY!!!! Second note, they had snow crab legs, of which I ate several, though refrained from pigging out since I'm still a tad worried about my phantom crab allergy. No symptoms though... I seem to be doing ok.

I also see that the stock market had a rather nice rally today which makes my poker loss look smaller than the tip I just gave to the bartender here.

TurkeyBall 2007 - The End

Sunday morning, Doug packed for his flight and then he and I headed back to the beach. This time, however, there were far fewer people, and only one set of lines for a volleyball court, which was kept occupied the entire time we were there. After some beach time, we eventually gave up on playing and went to the bar for food and beverage. Amy and Brian joined us shortly after, and we managed to get in a quick game of 2s on our hand-dug lines, and then I took Doug to the airport for his flight back to Vernon.

Note to self: next time, bring lines!

Monday was somewhat less eventful, though Amy did treat us to steak lunches at Remington's before I took Ron to the airport for his flight back to warm, sunny CT. Thanks, Amy! Later that night, we watched the single worst Monday Night Football game ever-- it was so bad, it was like a car wreck: you couldn't help but watch.

And now, having driven all day, I am still in Florida! I'm in Pensacola. Man, Florida is huge. Still not sure where I'm going from here, but I'm thinking of looking for a poker game in the Biloxi/Gulfport area of Louisiana tomorrow.

Thanks again to Dayong and Ron for hosting such a wonderful Thanksgiving vacation.

TurkeyBall 2007 - Saturday

Saturday was the day for the beach. We got off to a bit of a late start, leaving the house around noon. We went without Ron, who spent the day at Busch Gardens, and without Dayong, who played in a volleyball tournament with Ashley.

It was about 1:00 and a little cloudy, though perfect temperature, when we got to the Undertow Bar at St Pete Beach. There were four volleyball courts set up, and we had to wait a bit before we could play. I started playing 3s with two other girls, against Doug, Amy, and Akiko. My team won pretty easily and held the court for a while before my friends made it back. Fortunately, once they did, we all got to play for the rest of the day. And, long story short, we played until after the sun went down... by the time we finished, it was hard to see the ball. And unfortunately we were too busy all day playing to take pictures! We had a few snacks and drinks at the beach bar before heading back home.

Dayong cooks unbelievably good Chinese food, and he was cooking when we got home. We were pretty exhausted, but once again thankful for great food. I felt a little bit like a stuffed goose when Ron brought out dessert, but there's always room for ice cream, right?

Finished the night with some college football, including getting to see an Auburn player attacked by a police dog. Bad dog!

TurkeyBall 2007 - Friday

We went to bed Thursday night thinking we'd try to get up early and go on a canoe trip before Feng's flight back to New York. Didn't happen. It was around 9:00 by the time I stumbled downstairs and I was the first person up.

Dayong and Ron took Feng to the airport that morning, and Doug and I decided to take the canoe trip anyway. It's the same one we did last year, down the Hillsborough River via Canoe Escape. We got to get up close and personal with lots of wildlife, including some baby alligators:

And some not-quite baby alligators:


Lots of other wildlife as well, including herons, comorants, turtles, and jumping fish.

When we got home, Ron was setting up the house for Dayong's birthday party, so we helped set up. There were even more people there that night than on Thanksgiving (including Amy and Brian, who flew in later that evening), and unfortunately, I can't remember all their names. But it was another great meal, this time, steaks and asparagus cooked on the grill. And I learned something very important about myself. Two of their friends brought over some homemade crab soup. Now, I've lived my life so far convinced that I'm allergic to crab, since it runs in my family, and because i sometimes get some mild allergy symptoms if I gorge myself on shellfish. So I initially declined the soup, but it smelled so good I had to taste it. And then I couldn't stop eating it... but neither the hives nor the anaphylactic shock arrived to ruin my evening. So I have been living with a phantom crab allergy, and now I can eat all the crab I want! (might have been better to learn this back when I was making lots of money, but oh well!)

Finished the night off with cake, of course, and then more wine, of course, and then plenty of college basketball.

TurkeyBall 2007 - Thursday

Time for the volleyball tournament! There were six of us, so Dayong put together a schedule of ten games that had each person playing with and against everyone. The winner would be the one who played the most games on a winning team. And to spice things up a bit this year, we made betting sheets, where, for a dollar, you could pick winners and losers in hope of winning the final pool by picking more correctly than anyone else. So, as an optimist might say, there were two chances to win! The tournament, and the pool.

In addition to those of us from yesterday (Dayong, Feng, Doug, and myself), we were joined by two of Dayong's Tampa friends, Akiko and Ashley. We headed to the court at about 1:00, just in time to get rained on. Fortunately (or not, depending on your perspective) the rain ended about midway through, and that's about when two more of Dayong and Ron's Tampa friends showed up and started taking pictures.

Dayong on the attack (Akiko and Feng looking on, Doug blocking)


Me hitting, set by Feng. Ashley playing defense:


Feng passing with Akiko:


Me blocking Dayong:


Doug trying to block Dayong:


Doug showing perfect hitting form:


Final Results of the TurkeyBall Tournament: Dayong won, with 7 team victories. Feng won the betting pool, having picked an amazing 9/10 correct! Congratulations to the winners!

Thanksgiving dinner, of course, was to follow. Ron cooked an amazing turkey dinner, and their friend Sue brought over a really fantastic ham as well. As happens so frequently on these occasions, I ate to excess. And as is the TurkeyBall tradition, the tournament losers (of which apparently I was one, along with Akiko) have to do the dishes. I think that means we don't have to do them next year at least, no matter what happens.

As the last guests were leaving, Ron brought out the poker chips, and Doug, Feng, Ron, and I played the first annual TurkeyBall Poker Tournament while Dayong watched the UConn women trounce perennially overrated (in every sport) Stanford. Feng hadn't played before, and was knocked out first by Ron. It looked like I'd be next to go, losing most of my stack to Doug when my trip queens lost to his straight. But I managed to double up a few times and then knock Doug out, and eventually take out Ron when my pocket 77 held up against his AJ.

So I guess when I said there were two chances to win, I was wrong, as there were actually three!

TurkeyBall 2007 - Wednesday

This may not all fit into one blog post... may have to go one day at a time.

I arrived in Tampa at Dayong and Ron's place Wednesday morning after a chilly night in Jacksonville FL. On arrival, I met Feng, Dayong's friend from New York, and then I unpacked the Subaru and got ready for the beach. We drove to the airport and picked up Doug, who had just flown in from Vernon, and headed off to Fort De Soto, which was named 2005's Best Beach for some reason.

I'm going to interrupt myself for a moment and say a huge THANK YOU to Dayong and Ron for hosting another world class Thanksgiving vacation! Every year, their already unparalleled generosity exceeds that of the previous year. I am so lucky to have them as friends.

Anyway, back to Fort De Soto. This is supposed to be a common spot for sighting dolphins, but unfortunately for us the dolphins weren't around this time. We did see massive schools of bait fish darting around under the shade of the pier, and lots of herons which were plucking them out of the water. Then we went to the actual beach. There were no volleyball nets set up, so we just soaked up the sun while peppering a while before taking a dip in the gulf. Seafood and tropical drinks followed at Bahama Breeze, a chain restaurant I had not heard of before, but, being a chain restaurant, will surely exist in the Buckland area in a year or less.

We got home, uncorked a few bottles of wine, and I learned how to play dominos. Then we all played dominos and if memory serves me right, I lost every game.

Back in the saddle

It's great to be back on the road. A few noticeable differences this time, though, unfortunately for the worse.

First off, it's COLD! I'm in Virginia now... about 25 miles northeast of Richmond. This is the South, isn't it? And yet it's about 40 degrees. I'm really not excited about sleeping in the car when it's this cold out (though come to think of it, I did spend some chilly nights up in the higher altitudes this summer.)

Second, it's DARK! When I was doing this during the summer, it would still be light out at 9:30 PM. Tonight it was dark before 5:30 PM. That means more driving in the dark, which is lame, plus more difficulty in finding things like stores, restaurants, and motels in the dark in unfamiliar territory. In addition, the drive is far less interesting, since you see a heck of a lot less scenery.

Third, I had to drive through NEW JERSEY, a state I blissfully skipped during my summer trip. I was in more traffic today in the entire state of NJ than I was in all summer. And the NJ rest stops were dirty and did not have wifi. Plus, strangely enough, it began raining as soon as I crossed the border into the state, and immediately stopped raining as I paid my toll to leave.

Though I guess I will concede one positive about NJ: they figured out how to make EZ Pass work at highway speeds. And they seem to have managed to grasp the exceedingly complicated notion that if you put the EZ Pass lanes on the outsides and let the cash-paying fools dawdle in the middle lanes, you don't have as much problem with people not realizing until the last second that they're in the wrong lane and then trying to move over into the right lane, all the while blocking as many lanes as they can and generally looking like idiots, thereby eliminating all possible gains of installing an otherwise speedy RFID-based toll system in the first place. That's right, Massachusetts, New Jersey is making you look dumb.

The Color of Key Lime Pie

The Saint Joseph College Fall Season student-athlete awards ceremony took place earlier this week. In a way, this was a sad day for me, as it was the last stop in my rookie year as the assistant volleyball coach. That aside, I can't express how happy I am for the team, and how proud I am of their accomplishments this season. The girls worked so hard from pre-season to post-season, and while there were definitely some ups and downs, some injuries, and even a few tears along the way, I think that by any measure, the season can only be considered a success.

Where does this leave me? Well, it's almost time to hit the road again! Thanksgiving and volleyball in Tampa (aka, TurkeyBall), a road trip to Everglades and Biscayne National Parks, a Caribbean Cruise (which may even take me to Virgin Islands National Park), and then Christmas with my brother in Georgia.

And yes, a road trip means there will be blog updates :) So stay tuned!

Finally, what does all this have to do with the color of key lime pie?

Early this season, I was having dinner with the SJC volleyball team before a home game. The cafeteria was serving a mysterious dessert: a yellowish, custardy pie that tasted sort of like bad key lime pie. However, my suggestion of such was met with strange looks and a chorus of "Key lime pie is green, dumbass" (I am paraphrasing somewhat). Despite (or perhaps thanks to) my assertion that real key lime pie was in fact yellow, I was made the brunt of their taunts and jeers for the remainder of the dinner. This was exacerbated further by the fact that the cafeteria staff referred to the dessert as "lemon custard pie" even though the only resemblance to lemons that this strangely flavored dessert bore was its unnaturally yellowish hue.

Anyway, fast forward to the previously mentioned awards ceremony. At the end, I was surprised and delighted to be presented with a thank you gift of a card and a key lime pie by the girls! I knew that, whatever the outcome, this was the perfect way to get back into blogging.


Here is the pie, in its container. Note the Key Lime logo is a rather brilliant artificial green color. I'm not sure what to think at this point. I am not familiar with "The Corner Bakery." The green logo here worries me somewhat, and makes me think that this place might artificially color their key lime filling, or maybe use normal green limes instead of yellow key limes.


The opened package. Can't really tell anything yet... will need to cut a piece out for definitive results.


That's looking pretty yellow to me! Wow, a lot of meringue though. Let's scrape it off and get a better look at the filling.


Key lime pie is yellow! QED.

PS. It's also delicious.

Vernon, CT

Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.

Thank you all for reading! And thanks especially for your blog comments, phone calls, emails, and text messages along the way. I know this must have looked like a great long vacation, but there were a few (mostly unblogged) tough times out there, and communications back from the real world really helped keep me going.

Another big thanks to those I met up with along the way: Mike, Mayor Mike, Dan and Laurel, Glen, and Alice. These were amazing times, and were honestly the highlights of this whole adventure.

Here is the final Trip Computer:

Miles driven: 15,855
States visited: 39
National Parks visited: 32
Geocaches found: 26
Number of days gone: 43
Oil changes: 2
Last MPG check: 28.4
Live rattlesnakes seen: 0
Dead rattlesnakes seen: 1
Scorpions seen: 0
Giant squirrels seen: 3
Big Wallnuts seen: 2
Chocolate-covered walnuts eaten: 1
Tarantulas seen: 1
Amount won in Reno and Las Vegas: $975
Amount won in Tunica: -$60
WRX top speed: 135 mph
Cost of National Park Pass: $85
Total entry fees of National Parks visited: $334
Photos taken: 1392
Movies recorded: 54
Police cars seen while driving through ND, SD, WY, MT, ID: 2
Weight lost: 16 lbs

And here are some lessons learned:

• You can get great sushi in Boulder, CO
• Blue states have the worst drivers. For that matter, the bluer the state, the worse the drivers.
• Red states have more ADULT superstores.
• The earth is about 6,000 years old, unless you believe in that wacky collection of theories known as "Science."
• Padding is a great idea when in a tent.
• "Camping" means RVing to the rest of the world.
• I hate RVs.
• They might have to rename Glacier national park soon due to global warming.
• The Kum and Go stores aren't what they sound like.
• Northern Idaho is Aryan Nation territory.
• Dry heat is much more tolerable than wet heat.
• Unless you're in Death Valley.
• It's just too hot there.
• Panera Bread is great. Come for the mediocre food, stay for the free wireless internet.
• Illinois is made up of two things: Chicago and corn.
• There are no real killer 40-foot dairy cows.
• Massachussetts is the only state in the union that disables those things on gas pumps that enable you to pump the gas hands-free.
  

Lastly, here are some photos that didn't make it in the blog:

Acadia:

Badlands:

Yellowstone:

Glacier:

Mount Rainier:

Olympic:

Rocky Mountains:

Thanks again! I hope to see all of you soon.

Shenandoah

D'oh! A deer! A female deer!

I was about a half mile into my first hike at Shenandoah National Park, and I almost walked right into a deer. That's right, at Congaree, you walk into spiderwebs, but here, you walk into deer. I don't know whether the poor thing was blind, deaf, couldn't smell me, or a combination of the three, but it seemed almost oblivious to my presence. I could make noise, and talk to it, and it didn't really care; it just would occasionally perk its head up and look around, and usually in the opposite direction. Maybe they are that used to people here? Or maybe she was employing the "I'm so thin, no predator would eat me" defense.

Or maybe it was a cyborg deer. That's what I'd believe from the photos, anyway. In every pic I took that had the deer's eyes, they look like they're glowing white. Any of you photoshoppers out there know why this is? (and how to fix it?)


Shenandoah was a lot like the Smokies, but there were far fewer tourists, meaning less traffic and quieter trails. Even the mountains were "smoky":

I'd have a long way to go if I were hiking the Appalachian Trail, but as it is, I'm almost home! No more national parks between here and Vernon, CT.

Congaree

Congaree National Park, formerly Congaree Swamp National Monument, is a swamp in South Carolina. It was, as you'd expect, hot, humid, and buggy. As you might also expect, it was not very crowded, and rather quiet.

I hiked the Weston Lake Loop Trail. Had I been responsible for naming it, I would have called it the Trail of Spidery Death. Congaree is not a place for arachnophobes! There are spiders everywhere, large and small. And there are magnificent orb webs everywhere, often stretching for four feet across the trail path at various heights. And sometimes you don't see them until you walk into them.

I'm not afraid of spiders. I'm probably as unfazed as it gets for a typical civilian non-entomologist when it comes to creepy crawlers, but I was pretty wigged out after about an hour of brushing webs and spiders off my arms and face and wondering how many of the damn buggers might still be crawling around on me where I can't see 'em.

Last Thanksgiving, in a swamp in Tampa, we saw a bunch of these weird knobby things growing out of the ground and had no idea what they were. At Congaree, I learned that they are the "knees" of the Bald Cypress tree. They are actually parts of the root systems of the parent trees. Weird.

Anyway, here are some more spiders for your viewing pleasure.

Great Smoky Mountains

Some of you have noticed a slight delay in my blogging over the last few days. That's because I found Alice in Charlotte, NC, and we went camping in Great Smoky Mountain National Park over the long weekend!

According to my National Geographic National Park Guide, this is the most visited National Park, and the most crowded during the summer. We got there at about 6:00 pm and were fortunate to find an open campsite. As we drove around and saw other people's campsites, I tried to explain to Alice that my tent is designed for ultra-light weight and compactness, for backcountry backpacking trips-- i.e., it's very small. So I kept having to answer "Is it smaller than that one? How about that one?" as we drove around the campgrounds. And the answer was always "Yes."

Please don't read any innuendo into that.

Anyway, like I said, we found a campsite and set up camp. There was a trail nearby, and we had a few hours to kill before sunset, so we hiked for about a mile up a steep hill, and unfortunately, did not see any wildlife. I did find a metal cage, whose purpose I would not learn until later on in the trip.

We learned something fairly quickly when we got back to camp: it's not easy to make fire in the Smokies. (ironic?) It's just so humid! Even while tearing the newspaper, I could feel it getting damp. Anyway, I failed in my first two attempts to light a fire, and then Alice stepped in and lit one. For all of you who already know Alice as the great outdoor hunter, camper, and survivalist, I say "HUH???" but I was happy there was fire and didn't ask questions. We roasted hot dogs over the fire and had a great time.

We started the next morning with a quick walk up Clingman's Dome, one of the highest points in the park. Most National Parks are aptly named, and we found out that this is true here as well (although Great Foggy Mountains would be more accurate.) All the mountain peaks were shrouded in clouds, so the view was rather hidden from us on that day.

Drove into the Tennessee side to Gatlinburg for lunch, and then drove toward Cades Cove. We found another campsite here and set up the tent for later, and here we found what we had missed the previous night: marshmallows! and graham crackers! and chocolate! We stocked up...

Drove to Cades Cove, a driving loop section of the park that contains about a dozen restored buildings from the late 19th century. Three of them were churches, which went defunct during the civil war due to parishoners' sympathies being divided between the Union and the Confederacy. About midway through the loop, we found a trail that lead, according to my National Geographic book, to a "stunning view of a waterfall." So we hiked the 2.5 miles to the waterfall, at which time our reaction was: "eh." And then hiked back. Later on at a mill site, I saw another one of those cages, and this time, there was an exaplanation: it's to catch wild hogs, which are non-native and are dangerous to the natural wildlife of the park.

Saw lots of deer on the way home! Back at the campsite, we again tried to make fire. Alice had the Firestarter title from the previous night, so she got to try to make the fire this time. And try. After she had sufficiently heated the wood in the fire ring, I stepped in and lit the fire. And this time, after cooking hot dogs, we toasted marshmallows and made smores! YUM!

Found Laurel Falls (no relation to Laurel) the next morning and hiked. These falls were not that impressive either, and there were crowds of people playing around in them, but the hike was fun. After that, hiked a few nature trails and headed back to Charlotte. We were both pretty tired from the previous day's hikes. But we survived three days in the great outdoors (more or less!) without internet service or cell phones coverage! (er, 2.5 days without Alice's Blackberry...) Amazing how people survived twelve years ago.

Georgia

Before going to my brother Glen's place in Augusta, I found the Georgia Guidestones. Someone apparently thought it was a good idea to put up a 19 foot high stone monument in basically the middle of nowhere, with inscriptions in eight languages telling us how to live. It's a preachy mix of common sense, socialist (or world-government) propaganda, and some downright sinister philosophy, such as "Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature." I guess the first step to world domination is to murder 6.1 billion people. Like I said, common sense.

Glen's house is great, but I got there the day his air conditioning died. Living in Georgia in the summer without air conditioning is like, well, probably the first step toward maintaining humanity under 500,000,000. Nevertheless, I had a good time while I was there. It was the first time on this trip that I got to spend some time doing absolutely nothing, which was great. I also got to play some Halo.

Glen said that this reminded him of some bloggers he knew. I wonder who?

Walked around the scenic area of Augusta and found a "Japanese Pocket Garden." Seemed like a fitting place for a photo, even if it seemed totally bizarre to me that such a place would exist in Augusta.

The last night I was there, after some beer and some tequila, we decided to play a duet on his piano. We haven't played it in about 20 years. If you watched, you probably would have guessed we haven't played it in 30 years. Or maybe ever. Apologies in advance. Video Link.

Fall Creek Falls

I wouldn't have thought this would happen, but as I drove through Arkansas, I started to feel like I was back home. There were rivers instead of dry creek beds, forests instead of deserts, and high, oppressive humidity instead of that wonderful dry heat of the southwest. The most noticeable difference between Arkansas and Connecticut is that on the back roads in Arkansas, you see the unfortunate remains of an armadillo every seven miles or so on the side of the road. Sorry, no pics. Makes me wonder if, upon seeing a car approaching, the armadillo curls itself into a ball to stay nice and safe.

On to Tennessee. Elizabeth suggested that while in Tennessee, I should check out Fall Creek Falls State Park. I got there fairly early, and it was already very hot and humid. But I figured that was a good thing, as it would keep the trails free of hikers other than myself.

For the most part, I was right, and the people I did encounter were slow and sluggish and quiet. Even the deer I ran into seemed oblivious to me! The hike down to the main falls was steep and somewhat slippery, but the bottom was a great place to spend some time on a hot day.

Later that day, a geocaching trip in Georgia took me to two civil war sites, one of which was a graveyard containing over 500 gravestones, mostly looking like this:


This marker appears farther into the cemetery:

The inscription reads:

Georgia Confederate Soldiers
We sleep here in obedience to law
When duty called we came
When country called we died

West to East

Sorry for the lame poker post. Here is the map of my west to east drive to date. The stops are: Crater Lake NP, Redwood NP, Lassen Volcanic NP, Reno NV, Yosemite NP, Death Valley NP, Las Vegas NV, Zion NP, Grand Canyon NP, Bryce Canyon NP, Capitol Reef NP, Canyonlands NP, Arhes NP, Mesa Verde NP, Black Canyon of the Gunnison NP, Boulder CO, Rocky Mountain NP, Great Sand Dunes NP, Carlsbad Caverns NP, Guadalupe Mountains NP, Hot Springs NP, Crater of Diamonds State Park (AR), Tunica MS, Memphis TN, Fall Creek Falls State Park (TN), Georgia Guidestones.

The path isn't exact; in fact, it misses my trip through Oklahoma and my accidental visit to Kansas. But it at least shows the main destinations.

Tunica, Mississippi

I asked Brian K about poker games in the deep south, and he replied with "I thought you were already intimately familiar with the games spread at Foxwoods."

Touché.

Sigh. The REAL deep south, dammit! Like Mississippi, for instance.

Oh, like Tunica? I hear they play lots of tournaments there, and you're likely to find a good 2/5 game without looking too hard.

So I look up Tunica, MS in my atlas, and it's right next door! I had assumed it would be on the Gulf Coast. I check Google maps, and they verify, it's about 20 minutes away. Sweet! A few more Google searches later, and I see that there's a $60 hold'em freezeout at the Gold Strike in a few hours. Woot!

Warning: This story isn't nearly as interesting as the Las Vegas poker story.

I get there and sign up. The tournament starts, there are 36 players, and I am CARD DEAD. Seriously, for an hour and thirty minutes, I haven't voluntarily played a single hand. Finally, with blinds at 50/100, I am first to act and look down at AK unsuited. I don't normally do this, but for some reason, I decided to limp in and then come over the top to a raise. So I limp in, next player goes all in for 850. Another player reraises all in for 1600, someone calls, and it's back to me, and I fold. First all-in shows 77, second all-in shows 88, and the caller shows another AK. Cards help nobody, and the 88 holds up to win.

I stay card dead for the next half hour, then with the blinds at 100/200, I limp in from the small blind against 5 limpers with J9 offsuit. Flop is QQ9, I check, 5 players check. Turn is a rag, I bet 500, folded to a player who raises to 1200. Great. Obviously he slowplayed a queen, but I'm wallowing in my own drool now from having only played one hand in two hours, and I move all-in. He calls, and I'm toast. The river is a 9, adding insult to injury by giving us both full houses.

Crater of Diamonds

Alice suggested I check out Crater of Diamonds State Park while I was in Arkansas. This is sort of like one of the places I went to earlier on this trip, the Herkimer Diamond Mine, except that there is a chance of finding REAL DIAMONDS here. And instead of mining via smashing rocks with a hammer, you mine by digging and then sifting dirt. Smashing > sifting, but diamond >> quartz, so I had to give this a try. Not quite sure why Alice suggested I look for diamonds, but that's another story.

So I dig. And I sift. And dig. And sift. And it's HOT, and I've found nothing. So I decide to try the wash and sift method. This is a little better, as it's under the shade, and you get to get very muddy. And it's more productive, as soon I've found a few small, quartz-like pieces. Maybe they're diamonds! I keep at it, and finally I hit the mother lode. A huge, clear piece of ice about a half inch in diameter, with a few nice sharp facets! It's the New Hope Diamond!

Some time later, I bring my haul up to the identifying ranger, and proudly drop the New Hope Diamond, along with the smaller gems I discovered, on the counter in front of him. And then I look on in horror as he takes his metal pick and etches a fat, white scratch across the largest facet of my New Hope Diamond. "That's calcite, calcium carbonate" he coldly says. He tests the others, and continues his cruel monologue, "these are quartz, and these are jasper."

So the New Hope Diamond was actually nothing more than the New Hope Tums Extra Strength Antacid. Oh well! No diamonds to bring home this time.

Hot Springs

Do you remember when I said that Cuyahoga Valley was probably the only national park within a few blocks of a Wal-Mart? Turns out I was wrong! Hot Springs National Park is basically a small chunk of the city of Hot Springs, Arkansas.

The visitor center is a converted bath house from the early 1900s, with much of the bath house left intact as a museum. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought I was in the Hot Springs Ministry of al Qaeda Detention based on the unusual and potentially cruel devices on display:




And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse:

They do have one hot spring that is out in the open. It looks like any old waterfall dripping into a concrete pool, but as you get close, you can swear you're getting warmer. Then you can stick your hand in the water and burn it.